Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Happy 64th Birthday to "Constitution of India"

Dear Constitution of India,

A Very Happy Birthday to you. You have turned 64yrs old today. You were born on 26th November 1949. But for ceremonial reasons adopted on 26th January 1950.

Dear Constitution, your parents felt you were born defective. After incubating you for nearly 3yrs, and in spite of those extensive debates, your parents felt you were born defective and that you needed replacement of organs. They amended you, nearly within the first 18 months of your coming to the world. They said, you were born with speech defect. You were found to be “gurgling” too much. Chacha Nehru’s peace was disturbed, so he had your tongue pinned at a few places. This operation took place on 18th June 1951.

Since then, you have gone through 98 surgeries of major & minor kinds. I heard they have already made incisions on you for the 99th. But because they called it 120th, the hospital where you get operated has left you alone. The Doctor who prepared you for operation is a dangerous man. His name is Kapil Sibal. He is bad with numbers. Last time, he read 1,76,000,00,00,000 as 0, i.e. 1.76 Lakh Crore as just a Zero. This time, he read 99 as 120.

We have often asked, why have you been operated so many times, they say, you are a “living” document. But I think with so many operations, these fellows are “killing” a “living” document.

In 2000, there were better Doctors in the hospital where you get operated upon. They called for a detailed test & diagnosis of all your problems. They called for the specialists for check your complaints & preliminary tests. These specialists submitted their report in 2002. The Doctors were ready to discuss the matter in detail and complete the tests & diagnosis of your forever fragile health. But then they weren’t allowed to do so by Doctors who made a living out of keeping you permanently in the hospital.

May be you were ill when you were born. The circumstances in which you were born had become unavoidable and that may have had some bearing on you. But it is so unhealthy to remain in the Hospital all your life. Isn’t it better, if we check all factors necessary for your healthy survival in one go, and then finish whatever has to be done in one-go, so that you can breathe open air?

Here’s few areas where you could do better

1. You know, you are the bulkiest Constitution in the World. Really. That’s obesity. May be they could make you leaner.

2. Your arm has some defect too. It has been unable to scratch your head properly. There’s a clip at your Joint No.370. We just need to remove it.

3. In spite of your first operation on speech, you are still having speech defect. Basically, you lost the speech. And now, the Press has to hold you in its hand like a Puppet and do what the “ventriloquists” do. They, speak for you and make the world believe that its you speaking.

You know, its your 64th Birthday. I don’t want to spoil it for you. You enjoy today. Have a bash. You are still young. Your variety lives on for 300yrs or more…

These Bad Doctors are leaving the hospital next year and the Good Doctors are coming back. Yes. The trustees realized how badly the Bad Doctors have messed with everyone’s health.

Once the Good Doctors have taken charge of Hospital & its Admin, they will turn attention to your health. They will relook at your 2002 Preliminary Report. Thereafter, they will consult all specialists to get correct diagnosis and prescription.

Don’t you worry. You are a champ. What you’ve done in spite of your health issues, few would have done. The cake is all yours.

Happy Birthday.


A Citizen.


  1. Awesome.
    This is a fantastic peace..
    In fact,it is in last ten years that constitution has been most abused and misused.

  2. Piyush,

    Have you read the Indian constitution? Regards, Atanu

    1. Hi Atanu,

      I do think I have read the constitution and spent considerable hours on knowing how things found place in the document. Don't think too many people go into so much depth.

      Nevertheless, considering its vastness, it is never fully known. So, if you have an interesting perspective, do share.

      Mind you, loving the constitution and having reservation about the constitution are two separate aspects.



  3. Very well written - and interesting - good work
    Meena Das Narayan

  4. read the preamble.constitution has no place for sanghis

    1. My dear Anonymous,

      We have always known that your sense of Secularism starts with a sense of excluding communities, thoughts, ideologies. You don't have to make a deeper impression about it.


  5. modi should also read it---feku of the year ---on facebook

  6. search feku of the year on fb